Saturday, November 30, 2013

Hanukkah Day 5 - Understanding Anger and Cultivating Compassion, Contentment, and Joy

by Rabbi Katy Z. Allen

Another aspect of the observance of Hanukkah is that the lights from the hanukkiah are considered sacred, and we are not permitted to make ordinary use of them. (Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 21b) In other words, we shouldn't sit in an otherwise darkened room and read by the light of the candles from the hanukkiah.

We are not to make "ordinary use" of the candles. We must instead make extra-ordinary use of them. We must use them in ways that bring something new and different into our lives and our souls. We must gaze at them with the wondrous eyes of a child and allow the miracle of their light to pierce to the essential tiny point of light within our souls that is never obliterated, no matter how dark our days may seem, that spark of the Divine that exists in each of us. And when the outer light touches the inner light, then the fires of passion and energy and renewal will burn brightly within us and power us forward into the light of the day.

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage
Hanukkah Day 2 - Acknowledging Greed and Encouraging Generosity
Hanukkah Day 3 - Eviscerating Guilt by Responding with Action
Hanukkah Day 4 - Diminishing Despair and Growing Trust and Faith
Hanukkah Day 5 - Understanding Anger and Cultivating Compassion, Contentment, and Joy

I'm not so sure what the opposite of anger is. One clear possibility - according to at least one dictionary - is "calm". But I think the answer is more complex than simply a measure of our state of being. Yes, in a given situation we may be either angry or calm (among other possibilities), but I would say the important question here is, What is causing us to feel anger? What is triggering our anger? 

If we are able to pause and examine our inner world when something angers us, we may often discover that underneath the anger is hurt. We are hurt, perhaps by the injustice of a situation, perhaps by something that touches our vulnerability, perhaps because we feel threatened or accused, and our response - either by reflex or over time - is often anger. We may then respond by lashing out at someone or something, or we may hold the anger in or push it aside. Understanding why we are angry can help us transform our emotions so that we are able to not simply remain calm, but to experience other emotions instead, such as compassion, contentment, and even joy. 

In Proverbs we read, "The candle of G!d is the soul of a person." (20:27) Within us is a light that is connected to something so much greater than our individual self. When anger flashes through us, we tend to lose the sense of that inner light, that candle of G!d. As we hold onto ourselves and stand in the tension of a painful or otherwise difficult situation, maintaining our concentration and our balance, we can allow that inner light to guide us, pointing us in the direction of a response that will be not only constructive, but also filled with compassion, and as a result, we may end up feeling instead contentment, instead of anger, and perhaps even joy.

May the light of the Holy One burn ever brighter in your soul and bring you to places you never dreamed of reaching.

Chag Urim Sameach - Happy Hanukkah!



Hanukkah Day 4 - Diminishing Despair and Growing Trust and Faith

by Rabbi Katy Z. Allen

Jewish tradition teaches us to take our time when we recite a blessing before doing a mitzvah (commandment). "Time should be taken to pause and consider the kindness of G!d or the gift of a mitzvah opportunity in which one is about to be involved." (Mishnah Berurah, Siman 5:1)

On this fourth night of Hanukkah, we first conclude Shabbat with havdalah, the ritual separating Shabbat from the regular days of the week. Then, back in the world of everyday work and everyday actions of all kinds, we kindle the lights of Hanukkah. As soon as we return to busy mode, we are immediately asked to pause and remember the importance of the Mystery in our lives, the Mystery that brings light into our hearts and our souls, through all of Creation. Whether by day or by night, alone or with others, we best and most fully experience It when we take a moment to stop, breathe deeply, and notice all that is around us. 

Let us remember to pause as we light the Hanukkah candles on this Motzei Shabbat -- Saturday evening.

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage
Hanukkah Day 2 - Acknowledging Greed and Encouraging Generosity
Hanukkah Day 3 - Eviscerating Guilt by Responding with Action
Hanukkah Day 4 - Diminishing Despair and Growing Trust and Faith

Despair is an easy emotion to experience. All we need to do is watch or read the news and consider the widespread personal and governmental violence that wracks our world, the millions of people who live in grinding poverty every day, the superstorms and droughts and heatwaves that remind us that climate change is ever more surely impacting the Earth and all that lives upon it, and we can easily sink into despair. Despair can also readily overcome us as a result of personal experiences - chronic or severe illness, family members suffering from substance abuse, financial hardships, work that is not fulfilling, losses of one sort or another, and so much more.

It takes trust and faith to overcome despair. Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav, who is known to have struggled with depression, teaches us, "Hanukkah is not just some celebration of miracles performed in the past...It is a guiding light for people from all walks of life, from all eras in time, to see through the darkness of their personal lives and to become part of history...It is also the knowledge that G!d is with us, even when we lose the battle."

There is faith and trust that G!d is with us, and that G!d will be with us, and that we will never be alone. But there is also something even more fundamental: just plain faith and just plain trust. Not trust or faith in anything, but as a state of being. Living with trust. Living with faith. It is a moment-by-moment experience. It is being in the now with confidence, security, and a sense of well being. It is setting despair aside and opening our hearts and minds to find new ways of being, new answers, new avenues. Some of us may attribute such feelings to faith and trust in G!d, while others of us may experience it differently. No matter how we describe it or to what we ascribe it, when we feel a sense of trust and faith in our hearts, it feels just right.

Shavua tov v'Chag Urim Samech - Have a good week, and Happy Hanukkah!




Friday, November 29, 2013

Hanukkah Day 3 - Eviscerating Guilt by Responding with Action

by Rabbi Katy Z. Allen

The rabbis of the Talmud were concerned that the miracle of Hanukkah be publicized, so the tradition grew up to put the hanukkiah (Hanukkah candelabrum) in the window, for all to see. But the family is also to gather together, each one lighting his or her own hanukkiah, in order to publicize the miracle inward, to the family.

The miracle of Hanukkah is two-fold, the victory of a small army fighting against a large army, and the burning of a small cruse of oil, enough for one night, for a whole eight nights.

The miracles of Hanukkah can be understood in very spiritual terms. First, remember that if you are a minority, if you are just a small group, that does not mean that you can't make a difference. So many of us who are passionate about causes often feel that our voices will never be heard. Hanukkah reminds us that it is possible for us to prevail, no matter what the odds.

The other thing for us to remember is that when we are worn out and tired, when we feel we can only go on for a little while longer, we should kindle the lights within us anyway, and we may be surprised. The ability to keep going may just be stretched from one day to eight, enough to bridge the gap between impossible and possible. And Shabbat is here to help us with that process.

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage
Hanukkah Day 2 - Acknowledging Greed and Encouraging Generosity
Hanukkah Day 3 - Eviscerating Guilt by Responding with Action

Guilt is often a really useless feeling. We can so easily get stuck in guilt and really immobilized. Think about it. "I feel so guilty about....." Have you ever said this? It sounds so familiar to me, and the feelings associated with the words. It is so easy to sit and stew and wallow in our misery about what we did do or didn't do, and as a result be incapable of enjoying life at all.

The things about which I can start to feel guilty are so numerous! What about you? Do any of these ever start you feeling guilty?
  • Walking into a store and buying something, just about anything.  
  • Filling the gas tank.
  • Overeating.
  • Observing images of poverty.
  • Spending more than you can afford.
  • Turning on the heat in the fall earlier than at a younger age
Once you started feeling guilty, what did you do? Anything? If so - yasher koach, good for you! Doing something can get rid of guilt. Action can get rid of guilt. In some cases, we have done something to someone, and then an apology is a good place to start. But to whom do we apologize for heating our home and driving our car? For having a roof over our heads and enough to eat? Guilt related to the larger problems - the societal and cultural problems in which we participate - cannot be assuaged with an apology. And even an apology for a personal affront requires a follow-up change in behavior in order to be real. 

In essence, no matter what we feel guilty about, the best way to eviscerate it, to weaken it, to diminish it, is to act. Our action might not be directly related to what causes us to feel guilty (though in some cases, like overeating, the obvious solution is to eat less), but we can act nevertheless. Letters to our representatives about issues related to the environment or poverty are useful actions that can help lessen our feelings of guilt. Increasing our commitment to organizations working for causes about which we care, and feel guilty, by giving either of our funds or of our time, can lessen our feelings of guilt. Stepping forward and speaking up about the issues we care about, and being willing to put ourselves on the line can lessen our feelings of guilt. Changing the way we live so that our daily living aligns closer to our innermost values can lessen our feelings of guilt.

"Come let us walk in the light of the One." (Is. 2:5) As we light three candles this night before Shabbat begins, as we publicize the miracles both outwardly and inwardly, let us feel the lightness beginning to enter our souls as we let go of fear, greed, and guilt, and walk in the light with courage, generosity, and positive actions.

Shabbat Shalom, and Chag Urim Sameach - Happy Hanukkah!


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Hanukkah Day 2 - Acknowledging Greed and Encouraging Generosity

by Rabbi Katy Z. Allen

In the Talmud (Shabbat 21b), the rabbis discuss how to light the hanukkiah - the Hanukkah candelabrum. The famous sages Hillel and Shammai disagree as to whether we should start with eight candles and day by day diminish the number we light until on the last day of Hanukkah there is only one candle (plus the shamash, or helper candle) burning, which is the view of Shammai, or, if we should start with one (plus the shamash) and add a new candle each night until we have eight (a total of nine with the shamash) burning on the last night.

We all know that Hillel won that argument (along with a lot of others). His point was -- and it is a point that is reiterated in other places in the Talmud -- that we should only increase in holiness, and never decrease. In our efforts this Hanukkah season to follow Rebbe Nachman's dictum (see Hanukkah Day 1) and to ignite our souls, we are kindling an additional spiritual "candle" each night, with the hope that the increasing number of "lights" will help us increase the holiness in our lives.

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage
Hanukkah Day 2 - Acknowledging Greed and Encouraging Generosity

If you are anything like me, you probably don't normally think of yourself as greedy. In fact, I don't like to think that I am ever greedy. It feels really uncomfortable. I want to say, "No, that's not me! I'm not like the king in Rumplestiltskin. I'm not greedy."

But if I am going to be honest as I light the hanukkiah on this second night of Hanukkah, then I need to acknowledge the cultural / societal / national greed of which I am a part, in addition to whatever personal tendencies I may have at times to be greedy. 

Here are examples of questions we can ask ourselves and facts we must face:
  • How do I respond when there is "free" food or a generous spread of goodies available?
  • How often have I said, "I need...." when what I really mean is "I want"?
  • Humanity uses 2/3 of the fertile land available on Earth.
  • The United States has about 4% of the world's population and emits about 25% of the total global greenhouse gases.
What causes us to feel and to believe that we need so much? 

Fear may be one factor, fear of being hungry, or cold, or lonely, fear of being different, fear of humiliation or embarrassment, fear of feeling or being inadequate, and so many other fears. Some of our "need" may come from external social and cultural pressures of which we have no conscious awareness. Some of it may come from a simple biological desire to have our physical needs met. Some may come from insecurity..., and so on.

Whatever the source of our greed, we can only combat it if we acknowledge that it exists. It takes humility to acknowledge such an unpleasant emotion.

Once acknowledged, if we want to light a candle to dispel the darkness of greed from our lives, we can encourage ourselves to be both humble and generous. In the very beginning of the Torah, Genesis 1:3, we read, "Let there be light." With each deed of generosity, we bring light into our hearts and into the world. Think about it for a moment -- how different would your day look if you examined every deed and every act from the point of view of greed versus generosity? It is a lot to ask of ourselves, but on the second night of Hanukkah, as we light the second candle, the candle of generosity, let us try, for these next 24 hours, to pay attention to just how greedy or how generous we are. And then, let us ask for G!d's help to shift the balance in our lives further away from greed and closer to generosity, to other human beings, to other living things, to the Earth, to the future, to the Universe, and to all that we cannot understand.

Chag Urim Sameach - Happy Hanukkah.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage

by Rabbi Katy Z. Allen 

This week's Torah portion is Miketz -- we are smack dab in the middle of the Joseph story, a sure sign that Hanukkah will soon begin, as we always read this portion during Hanukkah. 

In addition, this week's Shabbat candle-lighting time is almost as early as it gets (next week will be one minute earlier), even though the actual shortest day of the year is weeks away. 

It is a dark time of year. There can easily be much darkness in our hearts at this time -- violence, corruption, climate change, ecological degradation, along with the bumps both large and small of our personal lives -- all of these and more impact us even when they are not at the forefront of our minds, and when the sun sets early and the nights are long, doubts, worries, fears, and uncertainties are all the more likely to settle in our hearts. 

In recognition of our very human and not-at-all unique need to kindle lights to dispel the darkness, we celebrate Hanukkah. Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav charges us to claim the spiritual power of Hanukkah, each of us for ourselves: "Kindle your own candle. Ignite your soul. Hanukkah is your story." 

And so, as you kindle the lights of your candles each night, I invite you to take Rebbe Nachman's charge seriously and to find new layers of all that is good and pure and sacred within your heart and soul. As you do so, I offer you companions on your journey, eight spiritual "candles", one for each of the eight nights of Hanukkah. I invite you to read, to absorb, to comment, and to share with others. 

Hanukkah Day 1 - Dispelling Fear and Finding Courage

It takes but one tiny candle to dispel the darkness. It takes but one ounce of courage to dispel the fear.

Fear -- sometimes our heart races, sometimes we panic, sometimes we are fully aware of our fear. Confronting a co-worker, boss, or family member about hurts or injustices, sometimes we just hold it all in and remain silent, fearful of the consequences of speaking out. Crossing a high narrow bridge over a deep chasm, bungee jumping, or walking the highwire, perhaps we just avoid such activities rather than put ourselves in a scary situation. Acknowledging that a loved one is dying, that our air and water and soil are filled with toxins, or that climate change is real and is going to change every aspect of our lives, often we refuse to face the facts before us out of fear that we cannot handle the truth.

On this first night of Hanukkah, may we gather together to light a candle of courage and dispel the darkness of fear. May the powerful light of this one candle light up our hearts and our lives, allowing us to see, to feel, and to experience the courage emanating forth from it - the courage to speak up, the courage to act, the courage to acknowledge hard truths and move into an unknown future, the courage to remember in the depths of our hearts the words of the psalmist: Adonai ohri v'yish'ee, Adonai is my light and my salvation (Ps. 27:1), to put ourselves into G!d's hands and to trust that we will find our way forward.



Chag Urim Sameach - Happy Hanukkah!