by Rabbi Robin Damsky
I am sitting with the concept of brokenness as it relates to
Tisha B’Av and the ensuing unfolding of the High Holy Day season. We often have
trouble connecting with this day; our lives are so distant from the First and Second Temple
periods, but its central theme is one with which we can all relate: brokenness.
In this day of weeping, we weep not only for the brokenness and destruction in
the past, we weep for our own brokenness today, and this brings me back to the
garden.
Growing food most closely informs my relationship with the
earth so that is where I go to source these writings. Each year there are crops
that grow well and others that disappoint. One crop, however, enthused and
simultaneously disappointed beyond all: the grapes.
Pruning grapes is critical for a good crop. This year I
discovered that April is the right time to prune, but still convinced I had no
idea what I was doing, I feared that I was ruining my harvest. Lo and behold, 6
weeks later, a friend visiting from out of town who grows grapes, said, “Look!
You have grape bunches everywhere!”
There were hundreds. Literally. I had never had that many
grapes before. I was going to have a bumper crop. Enough to have a grape
harvest party and to bring delectable fruit to the food pantry in very good
quantity.
As time unfolded, we discovered some black rot due to too
much rain. We pruned excessively, removing a number of the clusters for the
good of the balance. We fertilized with comfrey compost tea, a very smelly and
extraordinarily effective plant food. The bunches exploded. Not yet ready to
harvest but looking very appealing to the eye, we tied up flash tape to
distract birds and squirrels. Harvest time was approaching, but not just yet.
The fruits were too sour. We hung plastic owls and falcons for more protection.
These deterrents work well for small animals, but there was
one I hadn’t anticipated. It looked like the time had come to pick. We set to
pick the next day, but that night I had a set of visitors. Two, or three, or
maybe five. I knew it was more than one
from the gifts they left me of their droppings. They were deer, who, in having
their own territory encroached upon, in having their food sources diminished,
and with an imbalance in natural predators, trek farther and farther away from
the wild to find food. My fencing has always kept the deer out in the past. But
not this time.
They didn’t eat some of the grapes or a modicum of the
grapes. They totaled a solid 80% of them. I walked out and the bursting bunches
of red, black and green were nowhere to be seen. Or there was one grape hanging
left, sometimes 2 to 5.
I was so torn. It’s not that I don’t want to feed the deer.
Or the squirrels or the birds. I expect to lose a bit of my produce to them
each year. But to have had uninvited guests simply take almost the whole of a
crop was just too much. All the hours of cultivating. All the time devoted to
pruning, to fertilizing, to trellising, to protecting. All, essentially, gone.
The deer also ate almost all of my pole beans, took off the
tops of the beets and a whole bunch of other great stuff. So this weekend was
devoted to putting up an eight-foot deer fence, which may or may not keep them
out.
How do we take this forward into our preparation for the
High Holy Days, and our love for the earth?
I have always felt that the earth nourishes me. One of the
reasons I grow food is to give back to the Creator that “gives to each its food
in due time,” (Psalm 145; Ashrei). I also grow food out of a sense of
responsibility to educate others: how to grow their own food for their health
and for the better health of our planet, to show folks how good fresh-picked,
organically grown food tastes, and to help feed the hungry. Sure, I suppose I
have to include the deer in there – I still haven’t worked out exactly how to
address that.
But I think the most poignant point is the sense of
brokenness. Not just the brokenness that I felt in finding my grapes decimated,
but also the brokenness of our ecological balance that puts us in the position
of vying with our wildlife. I wrote earlier this season that I learned from
Henry David Thoreau in his book, Walden, that
we have to plant an extra row of beans for the deer. This goes way beyond an
extra row. It is as if a whole farm needs to be planted for them and their
creature buddies.
Where is your personal brokenness? Where do you most closely
observe brokenness in our planet’s balance?
In order to find the healing and regeneration of the High
Holy Day season, we must first acknowledge the truth of where we are. As we
prepare for the onset of Elul and the awakening of its shofar blasts, let us
ask ourselves where we feel broken, and where our relationship with the earth
is broken as well. As we look inside and spend time with the earth around us,
we might find a breath – the breath of acknowledgment, of thanks for taking the
time to touch the wounded places within us and without. As we sit with our
tenderness, we can ask for guidance from the Source of Life for how to heal –
how to heal internally and how to help heal our planet. Our lives hang in the
balance, and the deer and their friends are counting on us.
Rabbi Robin Damsky is the founder and executive director of
In the Gardens, a new nonprofit bringing edible organic garden design as well
as mindfulness practice to food deserts, food insecure communities, businesses
and homes. She also serves as the rabbi of the Ames Jewish Congregation in Iowa . She is a 2015
graduate of the Institute for Jewish Spirituality’s Clergy Leadership Program
and is currently studying in their Jewish Mindfulness Meditation Teacher
Training program. Rabbi Damsky was ordained by the Ziegler School of Rabbinic
Studies and earned her Masters degree in Jewish education at the Jewish
Theological Seminary. She has a BFA in dance from Ohio University
and has been a medical massage therapist since 1977. Website: http://inthegardens.org/
This so speaks to my condition. My husband and I also grow our own food and share some with others. We have that 8 foot deer fence and electrify it against the raccoons and other similar critters. But this year the chipmunks ate all of our strawberries, red raspberries, and blueberries. The squirrels ate our cantaloupes and now are even eating our tomatoes. After all our hard work, we will have less in our freezer and jars for this winter. My first response was despair, then frustration, then anger. Now I return to reflection and gratitude. I'm grateful for what the land has given (and for what the critters haven't taken). I'm grateful that I have land to nourish us and a roof over my head and trees that provide shade and heat in the winter. I'm grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. And I'm working at forgiving the chipmunks and squirrels, but that will take some time.
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